The Two-Year-Old Matchmaker
by nannyandpotocrazy
Summary: When Effie's sister is hospitalized, she's forced to babysit her two-year-old niece for the night. Shameless Hayffie fluff. Oneshot.


**A/N I would like to thank my two year old cousin for being the inspiration for this fanfic. I saw her today, and she looked like she was from the Capitol. So, for her, even though she can't read, here ya go! **

Effie sighed and slammed the phone down onto the receiver. She brought a hand up to her temple, massaging slowly. Her sister had been hospitalized this morning, and her brother-in-law had just rang to tell her that she was now in charge of her niece, Natalie. Normally Effie would be thrilled to take care of her two-year-old niece, but her sister's illness couldn't have come at a worse time.

Just the day before, Effie had reaped the tributes for the 67th Hunger Games. Not only did she have the Tributes and Haymitch to take care of but now Natalie as well. Her brother-in-law had said he'd be over in a few minutes to drop the young girl off.

Effie rose from the chair and made her way into the living area. When she entered, she was greeted with the sight of Haymitch reading a label on a new bottle of vodka. She sneered, lips thinning in the process. "Not today, Haymitch."

Haymitch looked up, startled at the appearance of Effie. After a moment, shock turned to anger, and Haymitch strode towards Effie, placing his bottle on the side table as he went. "Trinket, I do this everyday. You really should be used to it by now." He smirked, leaning against the back of the couch.

"You can't have alcohol out, Haymitch. We have to watch my niece. She'll be here _any_ minute." Effie breathed a sigh, placing a pillow on the ground back into place.

Haymitch's frowned, brows knitting together as he did so. "Didn't even know you had a niece. Besides," He smirked, "I don't want to spend all day babysitting some Capitol brat." He spoke truthfully. "Why she comin' anyway?"

"My sister is sick, and there's no one to watch her. It should just be for a day. Please Haymitch," She pleaded, "She's only two. Best behavior, _please_."

"Two?" His eyes widened. "That's a bit young for me, sweetheart."

Effie nodded in understanding. She knew how he felt. After all, Effie didn't have much experience with young children. Only children twelve and up she was comfortable with. A moment of silence passed between the two before the door bell rang, echoing throughout the penthouse. An avox hurried to the door, opening it quickly.

A frazzled looking man entered with a small girl at his heels. His hair was dyed purple and he was dressed from head to toe in gold. The man's top eyelashes were touching his mid-forehead while his bottom brushed against his gold blush. At first glance, the girl didn't even seem to be from the Capitol. She was wearing a bright pink dress with her blonde hair up in ribbons. The girl had pink frilly socks on, matched with short black heels. Overall, she looked relatively normal for a Capitol citizen.

"Effie, we can't thank you enough," He said, embracing her tightly. After a moment, he let go, barely even glancing at Haymitch. "Ellie is fine. She's just a bit dehydrated. It's some sort of bug going around."

Effie nodded, smiling over at Natalie. She broke into a bright smile, revealing only a handful teeth. Natalie giggled, bringing a small hand up to cover her mouth. "Aunt Eppie! Aunt Eppie!" She broke into a run, jumping onto an unexpected Haymitch. "Oh," She frowned, staring up at the man's face, "You're not Aunt Eppie." She whispered, embarrassed.

Haymitch frowned, pushing the girl gently off of him. Effie looked disapproving at the man, holding her arms out for her niece. She held her against her chest tightly, lifting her off the ground. "Well, I'll be going," He glanced at his watch, "Ellie and I will be back here tonight to pick her up." He looked over at Haymitch, doing nothing to hide his disgust. "Mr. Abernathy." He nodded his head curtly.

The man turned on his heel, heading back towards the door. Two avoxes had the door held open for him as he walked through, not even turning around to thank them. Haymitch shook his head, picking up the bottle of vodka from the table.

"I'm sorry, Haymitch. Xerxes is a bit rude." She looked at him, smiling sheepishly. "Natalie, honey, this is Haymitch." Effie said, raising an arm in Haymitch's direction. Natalie waved her hand shyly at him, burying her head in Effie's shoulder. "She's shy." Effie smiled, lifting her onto her hip.

"Are those real pearls in her ear?" He asked plainly.

Effie took the earring closer to her face for better inspection and frowned, "Yes, Haymitch." He shook his head again and plopped down onto the couch.

"Abynathy!" Natalie shrieked and clutched the bottom of her dress in her hands. "You on Aunt Eppie's wall." Haymitch frowned and looked over at a beet red Effie.

"What do you mean, sweetheart?"

"You gots a poster on Aunt Eppie's wall, silly!" She smiled, gaining more confidence as she spoke. Haymitch grinned brightly at Effie, who looked positively horrified by Natalie's ramblings. Effie gulped audibly, placing her on the couch next to Haymitch.

"I'll be back. I think I'll go die of embarrassment now." Effie sighed, turning to the direction of her room. Haymitch rolled his eyes and placed his bottle onto a coaster.

"So, tell me more about your Aunt Effie."

"When she was a baby, mommy says she entered some sort of video contest to meet you, and she sent you fanmail, but you never answered." She frowned a bit, looking up at him expectantly.

Haymitch chuckled. Oh, she was never going to live this down. He was going to tease her with this for the rest of his worthless life. Who knew little Effie Trinket had a crush on Haymitch Abernathy.

"Haymish? What's in your cup?" She asked, folding her hands in her lap.

"Juice," He said. Haymitch glanced at his drink and then back at the girl thoughtfully. "Say kid, you want some? I'm sure Aunt Effie won't mind." He smirked a bit, grabbing the body of the bottle and holding it out for her.

"No thank you."

"Just a sip?" He smiled crookedly, holding it even closer. She looked down at it, frowning.

"Haymitch! I leave the room for one moment to compose myself, and you're trying to feed my niece _vodka_?" Before she could continue her lecture, the girl tribute, Iris, came into the living area declaring that it was dinner time. Effie cast Haymitch a threatening glance. When he walked by her, she leaned her mouth up against his ear and whispered, "You got lucky."

He smiled, "Oh, I wish, princess." Her eyes widened, and she turned away from him quickly.

He smirked and took his seat at the front of the table. Iris stared confusedly at Natalie as she plopped herself on Effie's lap rather gracefully. "Iris, Xekelev, this is my niece Natalie. She'll be with us tonight." Effie smiled and pulled Natalie closer to her.

Natalie glanced down the table turning her nose up at Xekelev's hat on his head. "You suppose to take hat off when you eat," She scolded, placing her hands on her hips, "You gots to remember, 'man' is also in the word 'manners'!" She said in an exact impersonation of Effie. Effie grinned down at her, hugging her closer to her chest.

"Nat, that's beautiful! I think I'll start using that one too," She said thoughtfully, placing a fluorescent nail on her chin.

"How old is she?" Xekelev asked, removing his hat rather reluctantly.

"She just turned two." Effie smiled proudly.

"Why she speakin' so fancy?" Iris asked, confused.

"We learn our vocabulary rather young in the Capitol." Effie said, knowing full well that cameras were filled to the brim in this room. The Capitol would be beaming with pride at Effie's compliment, and she did this rather often, just so the Game Makers would hold off on their tributes.

Natalie made a face and she shifted a bit on Effie's lap. "Aunt Eppie?" She frowned. "I think I had an accident," She whispered, rather embarrassed. Effie's eyes widened and pulled the girl off of her. Fortunately, it had not leaked onto her dress, and Effie breathed a sigh of relief. "I need to have my diapey changed."

Effie glanced over at Haymitch helplessly. "You know how to change her diaper, don't you?"

Haymitch chuckled into his flute before taking another swig. "No."

Effie looked over at her tributes for a moment, "Do either of you know how?" Iris and Xekelev shared a glance before shaking their heads in unison.

"I hate to do this, but," She glanced around the room before spotting a blond haired avox standing in the threshold of the dining area. "Sir? Could you change her diaper?" She asked, knowing he couldn't deny her request. He nodded his head and took the girl into the other room.

Silence overtook the room. "You make the avoxes take care of your kids here?" Iris asked while plopping a rather plentiful scoop of mashed potatoes onto her plate again.

"Not usually, dear. Unfortunately, I don't have much practice with young children, so I had no other choice, really." Effie said defensively.

Haymitch frowned when he noticed he had no more vodka left in his flute. "Hey! You o'er there!" He slurred as he snapped at an avox to his left. "Keep 'em comin'." He said, holding out his glass as the woman poured him a new drink. "Lemme just have that." Reaching behind him, he grabbed the bottle straight out of her hands and slammed it roughly onto the table. The avox's eyes widened, and she backed into the corner, looking frightened.

"Haymitch! How rude!" Effie exclaimed. Haymitch rolled his eyes and slurped his new drink loudly. She narrowed her eyes in his direction and shook her head angrily.

A moment or two later, the blond avox walked in holding a newly changed Natalie. She immediately ran back to Effie, jumping onto her lap a little forcefully. Iris and Xekelev stood up together and announced that they were to be retiring for the night. Effie pulled Natalie off of her as she rose from her seat.

"Haymitch? Watch her for a moment, would you? I left my schedule in my room for tomorrow." He murmured something under his breath and took another swig of alcohol. She took that as a yes.

Effie walked to her room rather reluctantly. Last time she had left Natalie in Haymitch's care, he was about to give her vodka. Lord, her sister would have her head for such a thing. Her family wasn't too thrilled at the prospect that she worked with the man, let alone him encouraging Natalie to drink alcohol. She found her schedule placed upwards on her desk. Looking it over for a moment, she found that her and Haymitch would have to leave the penthouse around nine to bring the tributes down to Training. That meant that they all would have to be in bed early tonight. If Xerxes didn't hurry soon, they would be up longer than what was expected.

Frowning at the change made in her schedule, she made her way out of her room to head back to the dining area. However, when she reached her destination, Haymitch and Natalie were no where to be found. Effie began to hyperventilate. Who knows where that drunken bastard could've taken that poor girl! She began to search the rooms thoroughly in hopes of finding traces of where they were.

When Effie entered the living area, she gasped in shock. What met her eyes was something that was not expected. Haymitch was sleeping peacefully on the couch with Natalie laying comfortably in his arms. Both seemed to be asleep, and Effie could not believe it. She expected the room to be left in shambles, or a drunken Natalie stumbling around the floor. Certainly not this.

She smiled. Who knew Haymitch had it in him? If the man would clean up his act a bit, he'd probably make a great father. Such a shame that he was wasting his life away on alcohol. That's what the Games did to you, and she knew that far too well. Effie may not have experienced it first-hand, but she had seen Haymitch year after year drown his sorrows deeper into the bottle, her tributes dying gruesomely at the beginning of the Games, and the guilt she felt each time they passed.

As she stared at them, she noticed Haymitch's leg twitched as he shivered. He was cold. Effie grabbed the blanket from the back of the couch and placed it over the two, tucking them in thoroughly. Before she even knew it, she had her head bent down only inches away from Haymitch's. Softly, she pressed her lips against his forehead, feeling something odd bubbling in the pit of her stomach as she did so. She pulled her head back up, noticing the wetness pooling in-between her legs. Blushing a bit, she backed away slowly.

Little did she know that Haymitch was awake. And boy, did he love children.

**A/N Is that an M rated ending? If the kid hadn't been there, I would've gone into smut mode. Thanks for reading! REVIEW!**


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